I want this McMuffin. You'll see.
So here we are again at the start of a beautiful night. I got night shift, yo. Here we go:
10:00 PM - I arrive at work. Med counts, fridge temps, dishes, laundry, hook the Xbox up. I want tonight to be flawless.
10:01 - "What do you mean we have E. Coli in the water?!?!!?!"
10:01:15 - Pshhh. My stomach is stronger than E. Coli.
10:40 - Well, I guess it isn't. Bathroom break I.
11:00 - Bed checks. Kids are sleeping well. Airways are clear. Feet are in position for optimal comfort.
11:05 - Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs tonight. This game isn't as bad as I thought. Although, I'm now convinced I have a catastrophic combo of E. Coli/tapeworm/giardia in my stomach. Fml.
11:55 - Bed checks. Pulse is strong. Breathing is regular. I'm at 14,387 points. Rage cage.
11:57 - I just mechete-d some gummy bears. Way funny.
12:04 - I just had to solve a puzzle by punching a giant egg McMuffin. I'm getting hungry.
12:22 - Holy crap. This is America. Where's my egg McMuffin?
12:29 - Bed checks. I feel like I'm talking like Dwight Schrute.
12:41 - I can't find the last strawberry to cut up in this level, so I mass murdered gummy bears.
12:44 - Boom. 30 g. I used my fork to roll up spaghetti a lot. I'm way hungry. Have you brought me a McMuffin yet?
12:45 - Who loves back to back achievements and has two thumbs? This guy. 40 g for getting life packs.
12:47 - Back to back to back achievements. And this was a big 'un. 100 g for breaking a lot of crap in the game. I have busted 170 g in the last three minutes, including typing. I own everything.
12:54 - Bed checks. A kid said a good thing to me a few days ago -- "Hey Jesse, do you need gas?" Me- "No, big guy. How come?" Him- "I was hoping we could go to town pump. They always have chili corn dogs. They're my favorite."
That's my boy.
12:59 - I'm going to have to rig the internet up to get my gamerscore to update. Suck. I'm at 14,557.
1:02 - 60 g for taking spaghetti tornadoes down with my fork. WHERE IS MY MCMUFFIN??
1:06 - We're moving onto Act 3 in the game. I'm actually kind of enjoying myself. This game's pleasant.
1:26 - I love getting achievements. I love playing video games. This contest is so much fun for me.
1:27 - "The Jelly Castle!! It's been invaded!!" 30 g for getting there.
1:43 - 14,647
1:48 - 30 g. Slurpdaddy. Use your imagination.
1:52 - 40 g. Chix Nixxer. I just iced some chickens. 14,717. I've got 540 g on Cloudy today. 8 achievements left on it.
1:57 - 15 levels down. 5 more to go.
2:35 - Wow. Round 2 of stomach ending bathroom break. I won. I think. We'll see.
2:55 - I actually think I'm going to get a McMuffin on the way home.
3:04 - 30 g for climbin' some honey bread. I win. This is going well. Kids have all slept. Tonight's a nice night. I need to get food. But I have to win first.
3:26 -14,747
3:27 - 14,787
3:41 - I'm getting tired of this game now. 2 levels left. Collect. Collect. Collect.
3:58 - Boom. Unlocked upgrades. 60 g. 14,847.
4:38 - Boom. Got more collectibles. 100 g.
4:56 - Just broke 15k. 15,037. Victory. 2 achievements left.
5:01 - Beat the game. Have to go mop up the last achievement.
5:09 - Done. 1000 points in one night. I started this game around 14 hours ago. I played for 5 or 6. It was... simple. I was able to obtain cool upgrades, but they happened too late in the game to really matter. It also had that gay Star Fox-y ending where you have to run out of the burning building and learn what things to dodge, otherwise you just die. I don't like those endings. They suck. Cloudy, it was fun, but now you're going back in the mailbox. TMNT next.
I'm at 15,177. Watch it, Joe. I'm all over you.
10:00 PM - I arrive at work. Med counts, fridge temps, dishes, laundry, hook the Xbox up. I want tonight to be flawless.
10:01 - "What do you mean we have E. Coli in the water?!?!!?!"
10:01:15 - Pshhh. My stomach is stronger than E. Coli.
10:40 - Well, I guess it isn't. Bathroom break I.
11:00 - Bed checks. Kids are sleeping well. Airways are clear. Feet are in position for optimal comfort.
11:05 - Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs tonight. This game isn't as bad as I thought. Although, I'm now convinced I have a catastrophic combo of E. Coli/tapeworm/giardia in my stomach. Fml.
11:55 - Bed checks. Pulse is strong. Breathing is regular. I'm at 14,387 points. Rage cage.
11:57 - I just mechete-d some gummy bears. Way funny.
12:04 - I just had to solve a puzzle by punching a giant egg McMuffin. I'm getting hungry.
12:22 - Holy crap. This is America. Where's my egg McMuffin?
12:29 - Bed checks. I feel like I'm talking like Dwight Schrute.
12:41 - I can't find the last strawberry to cut up in this level, so I mass murdered gummy bears.
12:44 - Boom. 30 g. I used my fork to roll up spaghetti a lot. I'm way hungry. Have you brought me a McMuffin yet?
12:45 - Who loves back to back achievements and has two thumbs? This guy. 40 g for getting life packs.
12:47 - Back to back to back achievements. And this was a big 'un. 100 g for breaking a lot of crap in the game. I have busted 170 g in the last three minutes, including typing. I own everything.
12:54 - Bed checks. A kid said a good thing to me a few days ago -- "Hey Jesse, do you need gas?" Me- "No, big guy. How come?" Him- "I was hoping we could go to town pump. They always have chili corn dogs. They're my favorite."
That's my boy.
12:59 - I'm going to have to rig the internet up to get my gamerscore to update. Suck. I'm at 14,557.
1:02 - 60 g for taking spaghetti tornadoes down with my fork. WHERE IS MY MCMUFFIN??
1:06 - We're moving onto Act 3 in the game. I'm actually kind of enjoying myself. This game's pleasant.
1:26 - I love getting achievements. I love playing video games. This contest is so much fun for me.
1:27 - "The Jelly Castle!! It's been invaded!!" 30 g for getting there.
1:43 - 14,647
1:48 - 30 g. Slurpdaddy. Use your imagination.
1:52 - 40 g. Chix Nixxer. I just iced some chickens. 14,717. I've got 540 g on Cloudy today. 8 achievements left on it.
1:57 - 15 levels down. 5 more to go.
2:35 - Wow. Round 2 of stomach ending bathroom break. I won. I think. We'll see.
2:55 - I actually think I'm going to get a McMuffin on the way home.
3:04 - 30 g for climbin' some honey bread. I win. This is going well. Kids have all slept. Tonight's a nice night. I need to get food. But I have to win first.
3:26 -14,747
3:27 - 14,787
3:41 - I'm getting tired of this game now. 2 levels left. Collect. Collect. Collect.
3:58 - Boom. Unlocked upgrades. 60 g. 14,847.
4:38 - Boom. Got more collectibles. 100 g.
4:56 - Just broke 15k. 15,037. Victory. 2 achievements left.
5:01 - Beat the game. Have to go mop up the last achievement.
5:09 - Done. 1000 points in one night. I started this game around 14 hours ago. I played for 5 or 6. It was... simple. I was able to obtain cool upgrades, but they happened too late in the game to really matter. It also had that gay Star Fox-y ending where you have to run out of the burning building and learn what things to dodge, otherwise you just die. I don't like those endings. They suck. Cloudy, it was fun, but now you're going back in the mailbox. TMNT next.
I'm at 15,177. Watch it, Joe. I'm all over you.
No comments:
Post a Comment