In Honor of FF XIII.

In honor of FF XIII, I will be changing my gamer photo to each of the new photos I unlock in the game as they progress. Last night I unlocked Sazh's photo. I think it's fitting. We look exactly alike.

Day Five.

Today was a really solid day. I took my Wii in to Gamestop. They're running a promo right now and I got an extra $50 dollars for it. When it was all said and done, I got $150 on my PowerUps card. I can deal with that. I promptly bought FF XIII. I've been sharing Joe's with him for too long. Plus, I'll want to come back to this game. I'm sure of it.

Over the course of this week, I've got around 2500 points. I'm proud of that. Final Fantasy XIII. Then Mass Effect One and Two. I pre-ordered ME3 today. I can already feel how awesome it will be.

OH YEAH... Joshua. Thank you for the music today. I'll be happy for months.

Day Four.

I have to start with this: I'm heartbroken. MyGamerCard.net shut down today. That what I've been using for badges over here. ---->

Ef word. I used that site to check all of my progress/info/make plans for future achievements. Regardless, they're gone. It's time to find a new site that will do that. I can collectively get the info from a few other sites. We'll see.

That all being said, today has been a great day for gaming. I was up at 7:30 and immediately started grinding in FF XIII. That game is perfection. I played the same 5 battles for 3 hours. I loaded up 51k in CP, and maxed out my current stats. It was way fun. Then I played my wife in Madden.

Madden. Is. Gay.

The series sucks. They're making it easy to settle for the casual gamer. And it has Chris Collinsworth. Those two factors alone make it the worst game that can ever be made. Ever.

I'm off to go check for a Gamefly game.

R.I.P MGC.

Update: 1:27 PM: I found a workaround. Instead of going to MGC when you click on gamer photos, you'll now go to Xbox.com. Not a huge difference, but it's not as comprehensive with information. Oh well. I'll be leaving the top MGC badge up for as long as I feel like, as an homage. Also, Gamefly game is here.

Update: 6:30 PM: I 1000-ed Night at the Museum. It took 4 hours. It was a pain. Collecting is dumb. (Rethinking life...)

Day Three.

Today started off slow. I had to get some work done. Unfortunately, I can't quit the world for five days. Blehg. Now I get to sit down and play. I asked my wife, "What should I start with? Final Fantasy or Bulletstorm?" Her response?

"Bulletstorm. That way you can get more achievements before Josh wants it back."

Gamer-wife-who-understands-achievements ftw.

Day Two.

She was a beaut. I woke up and played FF XIII for 8 hours to start my day. Really, does it get better than that? That game is legendary. I'm glad I'm playing it, but achievements DO NOT HAPPEN. It takes forever. Foreeeever. Soooo....

I played some Madden 10 online. This was my first foray into online matches with a partner to get achievements. I posted my plight on xbox360a and Bobalue1 from Vermont responded. He set the game up (All-Pro, 5 min quarters) and we went to town. We got the first 2 easy. Then it got rough. You have to complete a pass, user to user, which scores, while playing against an All-Pro defense. Some people can do that with ease.

I am not one of those people.

We tried everything. Fake punts on first down. Fake field goals. Posts. Slants. Curls. Straights. Everything. We got lucky on a fake field goal pass. Boom. Touchdown.

No achievement.

Dismayed, but not crushed, we pressed on. We got nowhere. We were down 52-7. Then it happened.

Philip Rivers to Antonio Gates. 42 yards. Hall of Fame moment. Boom. We got it. When the game was over, you get the last achievement. He sends me a message. "100% bro! Thanks for the help. See you later!"

The achievement didn't work for me. Ef. Word. Now I have to go back online and do another game.

Today, we have Madden, Bulletstorm, Final Fantasy XIII, and hopefully a Gamefly game en route. Gear up. It's going to be a good day.

Day One.

Holy butt. I'm so excited for this week. I have 5 days off, starting today. Gamefly game came in the mail. I rationed up. Out of the $110 of groceries I bought, I got --

-8 Powerades
-12 Fat Tires
-1 Rotisserie Chicken

What more does a man need?

I'll update when I 1k my game. I'll break 20k today. So. Pumped. For this week. Games games games games.

And Joseph sucks. Get ready to be in last, Joe. Josh is coming for you.

UPDATE: 2:10 PM: I'm down one bottle of gatorade, one rotisserie chicken, but up 520 gamerscore. I can taste 20k. Also, Backyard Sandlot Sluggers is more entertaining than Madden. That makes me laugh. Loalwlal.

UUUUPDATE: 2:18 PM: I started story mode. Of course, I tried to name my character Butt Face (Who wouldn't?) This is what happened.


"BAD WORD USED. PLEASE ENTER A DIFFERENT NAME"

- What?!?? A profanity filter?!? I tricked the game by naming my guy Butthol. I'm such a child.

UPDAIT: 3:52 PM: I, Jesse Wayne McDonald, have broke 20k. I'm the best at anything, ever, of all time.

UP DATE: 4:34 PM: Butthol Player has an astonishing career. 23/25, 14 HR, 18 RBI, and 0 losses. Hall of Fame numbers? You tell me. 3 Achievements left. I'll mop up after drug testing.

Final Update: 11:13 PM: I got it completed. I did some Halo with the bros. I think Sluggers took about 4 hours of gameplay to 1k. Some of the final achievements were tricky, and had to be done in the bottom of the 9th inning, which made things suck if you messed up. (Which I did.) Today was a big day. I broke 20k. I'm now the highest gamerscored person out of my friends. I passed Sam up today. Also, last but not least...

Josh is THIRTY points behind Joe. Joe, prepare to eat last place. It doesn't taste good.

Way last update: 12:35 AM: Josh is now in second. Boom

The Oracle

So it begins.

Seeing Jesse pick up Final Fantasy 13 and start playing it reignited my interest for the game, So I picked up disc two (Jesse and I are using the same copy, he's on disc 1, Im now on Disc 2, Thank you Square Enix)and started playing again

It was a rough start.

Not remembering any guys abilities, or paradigms or anything I was overtaken by the easiest of foes, but fight after fight, try after try I finally started to regain my stride and dominate enemies again. But another problem arose

Barthandulus

The reason that I quit the game in the first time was the impossible boss I got stuck on in the next room, so I set my feet, and grinded.

And grinded and grinded and grinded.

Soon after hours of grinding I decided to fight the boss again

Killed after 5 minutes

Grind, Grind, Grind, Cry, Grind Grind, Lunch, Grind, Grind

2nd fight success.

But it was too close. I knew that if I was going to be successful in this game I was going to have to get help, I was going to have to see an expert, I was going to have to see

The Oracle

He hails from Portland, Oregon with his wife and 3 kids, and Has put over 7 millon hours into Final Fantasy games since the first one came out.

So I climbed the highest mountain to get cell phone service, and called him

After hours of talking and debating and comparing and laughing, and consolidating we came to an agreement

Everything I was doing was wrong.

Now with a new team, new set of paradigms, and a new battle plan I now am fully equipped to take on this game,

Jesse you suck


here we go.



P.S Jesses tattoo ideas are gay, in fact I came up with one of my own, so picture this, after you read Jesses half baked Idea about some not funny tattoo, you read mine that says

"At least Im not a wanted animal rapist"

Boom

Heyo.

So, I'm in my 40 hours in 3 days again. I may even work more than that. There's simply no room for xbox in that frame. But. BUT. I have 5 days off next week. I'm hoping to get 3000+ points next week. I really think I can make that happen. Final Fantasy XIII is such a beauty of a game.

Josh is back on track. He's 1500 points up in the last few days. Watch out, Joe. He's coming for you. I've said it before. I'll say it again.

"Joseph, you will get last without Gamefly."

Sports Games.

I found Madden 2010 at my parent's house. I've been house sitting for them. Joe was sitting on a gold mine of gamerscore but didn't capitalize. I've popped 2000 g in the last 20 hours. I'm feeling good. The other 1000 came from College Hoops 2k6. Super easy. It took about 20 minutes.

Joe's playing Soul Calibur with his girlfriend right now. He is getting 0 achievements as we speak. Almost at 20 k.

New Tattoo Ideas.

So I've been kicking around ideas for a new tattoo lately. I want it to involve video games, but not be gay. That's a very tough thing to do. There's nothing that screams "I live in my parents basement and will never contribute to society" as well a poorly placed Mario/Mega-Man/WoW tattoo. Serious. We've all been there. This was my first idea-- Picture a Final Fantasy scene, with these words in fancy writing--

I don't blink. I simply rail Joe's gamerscore.

Let it simmer. Think about it. Thoughts? What does it make you feel like? Anything? Hmmm...

Well. I had to kick that one out. The thought was too absolute. Seriously, who doesn't blink? That's just preposterous. Everyone blinks at least once. So I came up with this-- Once again, picture a beautiful scenery. (i.e. Valhalla from Halo 3, The Normandy from Mass Effect, Laguna Seca from various racing games.)

When you have the gaming Nirvana in your head, slowly imagine these words--

I have blinked once. There's precious little time to blink when you rail Joseph's gamerscore as hard as I do. I know, we can't all be legends. But someday, we will all look back at Joseph's small, measly, pitiful gamerscore, and realize that I took a nasty dump on it.

There. That's more like it.

Final Fantasy Ex-Eye-Eye-Eye.

I'm finally starting FFXIII. It came out almost a year ago. I've been afraid of it. I didn't want it to suck, so I kept it in the corner with hopes that someone would make me play it. My brother bought it for his PS3 and has praised it up and down for the last week. So, finally, FINALLY, I put it in.

So far, it's everything I love about anything. Flawless. I have 100 hours that I get to put into it now. Way pumped.

You don't really see how awesome games can be until you play 5 generic ones in a row. XIII is outside the mold. Gear up.

Oh, guys, I'm like a jillion points ahead of you, just so you know.

Aegis Wing.

Aegis Wing on Insane tonight. This one's personal. Joseph, Jasmine, and I had a good run going last night. But that last boss was a jerk, time and time again. Tonight. Here we go.

Set phasers to funky.

UPDATE: Also, this is my favorite badge for an achievement that I've seen. Ever.



Its 4 myootant tirtle team-upz lawl.

UPDATE: We beat it on Insane on our first try. It was really fun to finally get it done. I have 1 achievement left on it now. I want to get it tomorrow. It would bring me up to 14 completed games.

Platforming.

All these cheapo games I'm playing are honing my platforming skills to CIA/KGB degree. I'm a freaking puzzle/jump/attack/run away from falling things master. I played TMNT today. I. Freaking. Love. Ninja. Turtles. I had a lot of fun with that one.

Oh yeah, and it's 1k-ed. I believe that brings my total completed games up to 13 now. I want to do Limbo and Aegis Wing next. Those both have hard achievements left. I'm safely in first right now. I have College Hoops 2k6 coming next. That's going to be a cakewalk.

Guy. FF13 will commence soon. Hopefully on Wednesday I can start it. I work 15 hours tomorrow. No room for video games in there.

Joseph. Act like you know how to play Xbox. Get some points already, girl.

Today I broke the 10k mark since the competition started. COMBINED, Josh and Joe have about 6k. I am champion.

Way sick.

Not fun. I'm waiting on a my Gamefly games to come in. Shipping is dreadful for them. Fingers crossed for today. I could use a thousand points. I have 40 games on my GameQ. When the contest is over, I'll switch down to 1 game at a time, instead of 2. I have my whole next year in gaming planned out.

Also, I just found out about TrueAchievements.com. It gives you credit for each achievement based on how difficult it was instead of how many gamerscore you get. It's a really neat system.

For all of you PS3 players out there, you can't use this system because your console is gay/sub-par/for girls. But I still love you and hope to play FF13 soon.

The goal.

I want to hit 28,000 before this competition is over. That means that I will have to complete 12 more Xbox titles. I may do a few arcade games in that span. We'll see.

28k. Gotta earn 12k in the next 2 months. Gear up.

I have pleurisy.

Boom. Lego Batman is done. I now hate everything about Lego games. I will continue to hate everything about Lego games. Then I will play Lego Star Wars III. It will erase past wrongdoings that this company has done to my mind, body, and soul.

I don't know what to play now. I have Mass Effect. I have Final Fantasy 13. I just don't know. I'm quite tired. Maybe I'll take a break...?

Ha. No. Effing. Way. Breaks are what Joe takes. Do I look like Joe? Do I ever get confused for Abe Lincoln? Nay, I say.

Nay. Joseph, I have passed you. Now I must destroy you.

UPDATE: I just put Mass Effect in. The case only contained the bonus disc. I didn't save the receipt from the pawn shop I bought it from. I guess that's on me, but serious, some jackwad sold them the bonus disc on purpose. And I bought it. So, my Mass Effect bonus disc is now in the garbage.

Harm's Way.

So, Doritos made a video game. You drive cars and shoot things. Kinda fun. Most importantly, I 200 pointed it in 26 minutes. Boom. Just broke 16k.

UPDATE: I like doing little updates throughout the day. 1 full post a day is good for me. I'm almost done with Lego Batman. Holy crap. It had waaaaaaaaaaaay more collectibles than I thought. 80 left. Here we go. Gotta 1k it today.

Lego fail.

Time to mop up on Lego Batman. I'm pretty upset with myself. I've had this game for 3 weeks. I'm hoping to finish it in the next 4 days. We'll see.

UPDATE: 4:42 PM. This is going way better than expected. 6 achievements left. 5 hours or so to go. Mop up is pretty linear. I may get this done tonight.

UPDATE: 11:32 PM. Nope. Didn't happen. I had too much crap to do today. We'll see about tomorrow. Now much spare time, though. Cheers.

19th.

I just found out I'm ranked 19th out of 2,000 people on the Biggest Loser, as far as achievements go. I want to be number 1. Time to step my game up.

Ayo.

Joe took back the lead for a second there. Not ok. I woke up early today. I'm back on top by 62 points. Boom Joe. Take that. Lego Batman feels like a chore. It's just fun enough that I want to work through the achievements, but I'm 2 weeks in and there's still no end in sight. I'm only at 64 percent completion on it.

I looked at my achievement completion. I made it up to 44%. That's still not 60, but I'm edging closer to it.

I bought Mass Effect. I might have to play through it earlier than I thought. I need to do 3 playthroughs of that and 1 of Mass Effect 2 to get all of the achievements. I'm really excited to do that. Gear up.

Recap of scores --

Jesse - 15402
(62)
Joseph - 15340
(1755)
Josh - 13585

Trave-sham-ockery

This is exactly what I did when I found out the news.

Jesse

has

passed

me

and as I lay in my own vomit I felt like my world was over but then I heard a sound, Something far away, but as it got closer I could make out what it was



Yes. Turn up the radio....

I had forgotten what this contest was about all along.. Humiliating Jesse

I know have a newfound confidence and a strive to destroy Jesse

Thank you Autograph,

Thank you Jesus for 80's hair metal

Lets do this

Boom.

I have to do this in the most dignified manner I can. I have been looking forward to this for a while now. Here goes.

--------------

Joseph, look at your score. Then, after you're done with that, look at my score. One of those numbers is bigger. And you can suck it.

--------------

Well, I tried. It feels good to be on top.

Night Shift Chronicles.

I want this McMuffin. You'll see.

So here we are again at the start of a beautiful night. I got night shift, yo. Here we go:

10:00 PM - I arrive at work. Med counts, fridge temps, dishes, laundry, hook the Xbox up. I want tonight to be flawless.

10:01 - "What do you mean we have E. Coli in the water?!?!!?!"

10:01:15 - Pshhh. My stomach is stronger than E. Coli.

10:40 - Well, I guess it isn't. Bathroom break I.

11:00 - Bed checks. Kids are sleeping well. Airways are clear. Feet are in position for optimal comfort.

11:05 - Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs tonight. This game isn't as bad as I thought. Although, I'm now convinced I have a catastrophic combo of E. Coli/tapeworm/giardia in my stomach. Fml.

11:55 - Bed checks. Pulse is strong. Breathing is regular. I'm at 14,387 points. Rage cage.

11:57 - I just mechete-d some gummy bears. Way funny.

12:04 - I just had to solve a puzzle by punching a giant egg McMuffin. I'm getting hungry.

12:22 - Holy crap. This is America. Where's my egg McMuffin?

12:29 - Bed checks. I feel like I'm talking like Dwight Schrute.

12:41 - I can't find the last strawberry to cut up in this level, so I mass murdered gummy bears.

12:44 - Boom. 30 g. I used my fork to roll up spaghetti a lot. I'm way hungry. Have you brought me a McMuffin yet?

12:45 - Who loves back to back achievements and has two thumbs? This guy. 40 g for getting life packs.

12:47 - Back to back to back achievements. And this was a big 'un. 100 g for breaking a lot of crap in the game. I have busted 170 g in the last three minutes, including typing. I own everything.

12:54 - Bed checks. A kid said a good thing to me a few days ago -- "Hey Jesse, do you need gas?" Me- "No, big guy. How come?" Him- "I was hoping we could go to town pump. They always have chili corn dogs. They're my favorite."

That's my boy.

12:59 - I'm going to have to rig the internet up to get my gamerscore to update. Suck. I'm at 14,557.

1:02 - 60 g for taking spaghetti tornadoes down with my fork. WHERE IS MY MCMUFFIN??

1:06 - We're moving onto Act 3 in the game. I'm actually kind of enjoying myself. This game's pleasant.

1:26 - I love getting achievements. I love playing video games. This contest is so much fun for me.

1:27 - "The Jelly Castle!! It's been invaded!!" 30 g for getting there.

1:43 - 14,647

1:48 - 30 g. Slurpdaddy. Use your imagination.

1:52 - 40 g. Chix Nixxer. I just iced some chickens. 14,717. I've got 540 g on Cloudy today. 8 achievements left on it.

1:57 - 15 levels down. 5 more to go.

2:35 - Wow. Round 2 of stomach ending bathroom break. I won. I think. We'll see.

2:55 - I actually think I'm going to get a McMuffin on the way home.

3:04 - 30 g for climbin' some honey bread. I win. This is going well. Kids have all slept. Tonight's a nice night. I need to get food. But I have to win first.

3:26 -14,747

3:27 - 14,787

3:41 - I'm getting tired of this game now. 2 levels left. Collect. Collect. Collect.

3:58 - Boom. Unlocked upgrades. 60 g. 14,847.

4:38 - Boom. Got more collectibles. 100 g.

4:56 - Just broke 15k. 15,037. Victory. 2 achievements left.

5:01 - Beat the game. Have to go mop up the last achievement.

5:09 - Done. 1000 points in one night. I started this game around 14 hours ago. I played for 5 or 6. It was... simple. I was able to obtain cool upgrades, but they happened too late in the game to really matter. It also had that gay Star Fox-y ending where you have to run out of the burning building and learn what things to dodge, otherwise you just die. I don't like those endings. They suck. Cloudy, it was fun, but now you're going back in the mailbox. TMNT next.

I'm at 15,177. Watch it, Joe. I'm all over you.

Is it fair?

Really, is it fair that I have to spend 3-4 hours on Limbo, almost tear my hair out, throw the controller, go for the disc snap but can't since it's and WBLA game, just so I can get 105 achievement points, while at the saaaame dang time I play Cloudy With A Change Of Meatballs for 20 minutes and get the same amount with relatively no effort?

(Wow, that was a big sentence.)

And the question may or may not be answered. I had a great time playing Limbo. I want to 200 it. Getting through the game with less than 5 deaths will be tough though. And seriously, it gets really freakin old when the same buzz saw chops your head off over and over and over again until you figure out the parts. But. BUT. It's so worth it when you get past any puzzle that dominates you.

Limbo's freaking awesome. For real.

Where the hell did I go?

Holy goodness I've been busy these last few days. I have been playing 0 (zero, 00000.0) Xbox. I have a couple games I can use to catch up with. Joe got some serious points off of Kinect Sports. Josh is in the process of moving, so he's super busy.

Also, it's negative fml degrees outside. It will be that way for the foreseeable future.
Montana really makes you appreciate summer.

The best part of my week has been Earthbound. I love 90's RPGs. I love mobile gaming, in general. Thank the lord that my new phone can do just that. Whammo. Super Nintendo in my pocket. I know it can't happen, since Nintendo and Xbox will never work together, but how sweet would it be if they retrofitted old SNES games for WP7 with achievements?

Really? How sweet would that be. I'd crap myself.

Tomorrow should be a big make up day. Joseph. I'm coming for you.