My girlfriend BreeAnn and I just celebrated 3 years together and for my gift she got me a $50 dollar gift card to game stop and some body wash.
Body wash?!
I instantly throw it away, and even though my girlfriend also surprised me with a home cooked dinner when she gave me these gifts, I insisted we go to Gamestop.
Now.
8:30 pm. I convince her to go to Gamestop, but it closes in 30 minutes. Pedal to the medal.
8:30.5 pm She wants to drive... HER DODGE CALIBER! crap.
8:31 pm. Were just about to pull out when my mom's friend Carianne pulls in the driveway.
8:32 pm. Small talk, Small talk, small talk, look at time... cut her off. Time to go.
8:38 pm. Finally on the highway, Breeann suggests listening to music to calm me down.
8:42 pm. Not only is Breeann NOT speeding she is going UNDER the speed limit
8:45 pm. PA-PA-PA-POKER FACE PA-PA-POKER FACE!
8:50 pm. Breeann regrets getting me the gift card.
8:56 pm. We're here! Jett (Manager, yes I know and am known by my first name here) jokingly locks the door. I almost throw up. Door unlocks. YES!
8:59 pm. Buy Battlefield, Start singing the Sound of Music in celebration.
9:00 pm. Get in the car, Breeann asks to go to Petco (PETCO?!) It's hard to say no after how nice she was to me. Crap.
9:01 pm. Ever been to Petco at 9 pm? Don't do it.
9:03 pm. We get goldfish. She makes me hold them, making me put down Battlefield. I'm sorry battlefield
9:10 pm. Almost home.... almost home... What Breeann? You want to hit up the CoinStar at Rosauers? (Grumble, grumble, grumble) Sounds great honey!!
9:15 pm. This women just cashed in $50 in change, geez.
9:20 pm. HOME! Breeann says she has to go home... BATTLEFIELD TIME!!!!
9:30 pm. I pop it in. I love life.
9:40 pm. I can't join any multiplayer matches... Download update? okay that should be fine.... 2.5 GIGABYTES!?!?! Throw up everywhere.
The Next day.
Xbox left on all night. Internet sucks. Update downloaded. YES!
10:23 am. First multiplayer match, everything is amazing. Battlefield owns.
10:54 am. A tank is rolling towards me, I shart. Run into a building. It shoots the building and the building comes down, it comes down, IT COMES DOWN!!!
12:00 pm. finally started to get my stride going.. then something amazing happened--
Ace Pin: Be the highest scoring player in a multiplayer match.
Yes. Score the highest in the game. That's 23 people I just did better then. suck it
So now I'm rocking Battlefield. I still plan to win this competition. To quote what Jesse said last night--
"Its not over yet Joseph. Did I tell you I'm gay?"
Joseph out.
3 comments:
-From Jesse-
You're 8 thousand points down. You will never defeat me. Ever.
I love that we're all so damn funny. We're the not-black Wayans brothers.
And Poker Face is gay.
Joe - Guy just gave you a left handed compliment. Cherish that.
Yes, I love reading what my sons write - always a crack up.
I'm telling Carrianne on you.
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